Zoom Fatigue and Other Digital Nightmares

From the Unmuted Memoirs™ Satire Series by Kate Henry, CPA, CMA, MBA

The Modern-Day Haunted House

Your webcam flickers. Your mic is muted. Your coworker is screen-sharing a spreadsheet that may actually be cursed. Welcome to the remote meeting—where productivity goes to buffer.

Top 5 Digital Nightmares

• The “You’re on Mute” Incident: You've been talking for two minutes. No one heard a thing. You re-deliver your speech with 85% less passion.

• The Frozen Face Frame: You get stuck mid-blink, forever remembered as the office lizard.

• The Screen Share Disaster: Your desktop is chaos. Your tabs are judgy. Your Slack message preview just said, “Do I have to go to this?”

• The Phantom Echo: No one knows where it’s coming from. Everyone silently suspects Bob.

• The Surprise Camera Activation: You're in a hoodie, your lighting is “witness protection,” and you just became the face of the quarterly review.

Webcam Etiquette Crimes

• Sitting too close (Nostril Vision)

• Sitting too far (Floating Head Vibes)

• Inappropriate backgrounds (We saw your laundry.)

• The fake “virtual office” that lags like a haunted filter

Zoom Fatigue Symptoms

• Sudden dread at the phrase “Let’s do a quick sync.”

• Daydreaming about in-person small talk just to break the silence.

• Staring at yourself in grid view until you question your existence.

Tips for Digital Survival

• Always have a coffee mug in hand. Even if it’s empty. It makes you look engaged.

• Nod slowly and meaningfully when you zone out. Works 90% of the time.

• Change your display name to “(Listening 👂)” and turn off your camera. You’re welcome.

Final Thought

Zoom was meant to connect us. It mostly just revealed who can fake interest while staring directly into their soul.

Unmuted Memoirs™: Here for your muted mic and emotional damage.