This Meeting Could Have Been a Nap

From the Unmuted Memoirs™ Satire Series by Kate Henry, CPA, CMA, MBA

Why Is My Calendar a Crime Scene?

You check your calendar and see 13 back-to-back meetings, one of which is literally titled “Check-In About the Check-In.” Somewhere in the middle, you realize you’ve been talking about the same topic since Q2 of last year.

The Many Faces of Meeting Fatigue

• The “Sync” That Lasted an Hour: We synced. We over-synced. We need therapy now.

• The Biweekly All-Staff: Where updates go to die and microphones go to squeal.

• The Weekly Stand-Up: Where nobody stands and nothing gets up.

• The Emergency Huddle: Because someone finally read an email from last week.

Corporate Power Naps (Disguised as Productivity)

Can you nap with your camera on? Yes, if you master the “hand on chin” webcam pose. Can you sleep through a budget update? Only if you've trained your subconscious to nod on cue.

The Agenda That Wasn’t

No meeting agenda. No clear goal. Just vibes. Vibes and that one person who always says “Let’s unpack that.” Please don’t. We like it packed.

Tips for Surviving the Meeting Matrix

• Join five minutes late and claim “Zoom wouldn’t connect.”

• Always say “I’ll follow up offline.” You won’t, but it buys you time.

• If asked a question, respond with “Great point. I’d love to double-click on that.”

• Keep a document open titled “Strategic Thoughts.” It’s just your grocery list, but it looks intense.

Final Thought

The most productive thing you can do at work is leave a meeting early.

Unless you organized it. In which case, fake a calendar conflict and escape.

Unmuted Memoirs™: Because some meetings are best attended unconscious.

Get our eBook: This Could Have Been An Email and laugh your frustration out. The eBook is only $12.99 and you can gift it to the frustrated corporate person you know: https://www.unmutedmemoirs.com/product-page/this-could-have-been-an-email