“Per My Last Email”: The Polite Threat Heard ’Round the World

From the Unmuted Memoirs™ Satire Series by Kate Henry, CPA, CMA, MBA

What You Said vs. What You Meant

“Per my last email…” Four simple words. One nuclear-grade passive-aggressive payload. This is the corporate equivalent of saying, “I already told you this, and now I’m circling back with extra salt.”

Translation Matrix

Email Phrase	Actual Meaning
“Just following up…”	I haven’t heard back and I’m starting to spiral.
“As mentioned previously…”	I said this. Out loud. You ignored me.
“Kind reminder…”	You’re late. Again.
“Thanks in advance!”	You’re doing this whether you like it or not.

Psychological Effects of Reading “Per My Last Email”

• Flashback to a meeting from six weeks ago.

• Sudden urge to search your Sent folder for receipts.

• A vague sense that you've disappointed someone in middle management.

How to Write the Perfect Corporate Reminder Email

Step 1: Reference a past conversation like you’re a lawyer building a case.

Step 2: Use phrases like “just flagging” or “as previously discussed.”

Step 3: Sign off with “Best regards,” which is code for “This is your last chance.”

Advanced Level: Email Power Moves

• Blind CC: A stealthy HR flex or a trust test. Use with caution.

• Bolded Text: Used to highlight key dates, tasks, or your rising fury.

• Subject Line Change: A warning shot that says, “I’m taking control of the narrative.”

Final Thought

“Per my last email” is not just a phrase. It’s a lifestyle. It’s a manifesto. It’s the sound of a soul cracking softly under Outlook pressure.

Unmuted Memoirs™: Making sense of the nonsense, one email at a time

For additional laugh and funny corporate gift idea download our eBook: Email Apocalypse at: https://www.unmutedmemoirs.com/product-page/email-apocalypse